The new year is well underway and as we approach the end of the beginning of 2019, I can’t
help but reflect on my resolutions that I so astutely declared to myself (and all of you) at the
beginning of the month.
Have I kept my pledge to be intentional? Have I done all the practical things that seemed so obvious and oh so easy as I sat and typed them just a mere three weeks ago?
The honest answer… some yes. Some no. That’s just life I guess.
I continue to search for the balance between the idealistic and realistic aspects of my life and the truth is, I usually end up somewhere in the middle. I daydream of perfectly executed plans, well trained children and a happy husband. But most days I am lucky if I check just one thing off my list.
Ideals must be rooted in reality.
Otherwise, they just become “rules” we set for ourselves only to be disappointed when we cannot or do not reach them. I must choose the ideals that really matter to me and ruthlessly focus on those alone. And yet, I must be careful to not let the striving toward the ideal thwart me in the present. A delicate balance that often makes me feel like a toddler drinking from a tea cup…a little proud and a lot shaky.
I feel called in this season of my life, to do exactly as I am doing: press in, learn, grow, and sow. And in that I feel fulfilled. But there is always this lingering sense of the unknown hanging in the distance. Some days it is in the peripheral, almost non-existent. Other days, the uncertainty hangs over me like a damp towel—nudging me to do something different but not really giving me enough reason to take action.
How long will this season or this particular calling last? Will I have more babies, extending this season of motherhood just that much further? Does God have different plans for me in the future?
Regardless of the answers to those questions though, I’ve got two young boys here—right now. Children that, I believe, I have been called to train up in the way they should go. (Proverbs 22:6).
I have a husband here—right now, that I have been called to respect and honor (Ephesians 5:33).
I have parents, friends and family here—right now that I am called to connect with, to build up, and to cherish (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
And I’ve got a me here—right now, a body, mind and soul that I am called to take care of (1 Corinthians 3:16, Romans 12:2, 1 Timothy 4:8)
I believe, this is the race that God has called me to run—right now.
And I will focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I will press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize. (Philippians 3:13 emphasis added)
So all the plans, all the resolutions, all the attempts at being intentional are merely a training schedule. A road map if you will, to keep me on course for the race that has been set before me in this season.
So here I go… Ready. Set. Run.
2019—Here I come.
Blooming And Becoming 