Category: Living with Purpose

Have you ever been driving in traffic, with the rain pouring down and your exhausted?

You’re burned out, frustrated, and screaming at God from the certain safeness of your tinted windows.  Literally yelling at God, mad that he has led you to this point or perhaps that he has led you to nowhere at all.

Mad at your situation and mad that you are mad at your situation, because somewhere deep down you know you’ve got it better than so many people.  Yet you can’t help but feel exhausted as you shout at the cars you pass and pray to God for help in the same breath?

Just as you look at the sea of traffic lights that await you on the seemingly never ending drive home, you notice that instead of being their usual hue of anger evoking red, this time they are green.

This time God has given you a free pass.

You cruise under miles of endless lights that are green and as you pass under the green lights, little by little you are released from the anger that was controlling you. You look in your rear view and see that the lights  are turning yellow, but you’ve made it.  You’ve made it through one more light and are closer to home and it goes like this for miles. Not one red light along the 5 mile route that is dotted with hundreds of potential stops.

And in that moment you are reminded: God loves me, he loves me, he really loves me.  And you are beyond grateful for his love at this moment. And not in an unemotional wipe of the brow “thankful that you got away with all green lights kind of way,” but rather a deeply appreciative way that makes you realize that you serve a God who gives you green lights when you need them the most.  Moments like that, they change you.  They remind you that he is the center, that he is in control and that he will “neither leave you nor forsake you.”

He will only give you what he knows you can bear and then he will give you green lights.

Wake up. Change Diaper.  Feed my toddler and shove some toast in my mouth. Pack snack and toy bag.  Get in the van. Oh no, forgot the wallet. Run back in, get wallet, back to the van.  Drive to the Honda dealership during morning rush hour traffic.  Man how quickly I have forgotten about the pitfalls of driving at 7:45am.  Arrive.  Unload stroller and pack a half days worth of snacks, toys and diapering essentials into it.  Drop off keys at service desk and we are off.  Not before the nice gentleman behind the counter points out that he has watched me for “like an hour” unload my van.  Gee thanks bud, I know my life is chaotic, but happy to have a cheerful reminder at this hour.

With somewhat of a smile on my face and a deep breath, we began to make the best of an otherwise inconvenient day.

A trip to the playground this early yielded a wet butt (not mine) and a lack of friends to play with.  Well crap.  This was my plan.  THE plan.  Three hours to fill and no one to fill it with.  My son was not so thrilled with the wet slide and the silence.  So we began to walk. First together, both pushing the stroller.  Then just him pushing the stroller.  Then finally me pushing him in the stroller.  (This seems to be the stroller struggle of my life lately).

My mind easily slipped into begrudging and blaming the city.  Every car that whipped by and every siren in the distance proved to be one step further from his much needed stroller nap.  Every stop at a crosswalk, waiting for the little man to light up, gave enough time for one more sweat bead to drip down my back.  Yes. Sweat. In early April. At 8:30 am. Welcome to Florida.

Until, I looked right.

A random open gate to my right with a sign indicating it was a park’s walking path.  What? We are literally on a busy city side  street.  There are no grassy parks around here with picturesque walking paths. The only parks around here are playgrounds closed in by chain link fences.  Well let’s just try this.  Thank goodness for the BOB stroller.  So off roading we went, a little timid but determined to get my son to sleep. Over stumps and broken down bridges, each step getting a little more glorious than the last… and then we arrived. This relatively unmarked path opened up to a beautiful oasis.

And for a brief moment in time, I wasn’t in the city anymore.  I was in a nature lovers reprieve.  Leo and I spent the next three hours sleeping (him not me), and walking, and exploring. Enjoying the sights and smells of God’s creation versus mans.

For the first time in a very long time, I wasn’t afraid that my son would grow up a “city boy”.  I was reminded that I could instill in him a love for flowers and birds and ponds and frogs and dirt no matter where we live.  I realized that it’s up to me to show him these things because the world around us wants to hide them, to hide God and all of his creation. But God is here, always waiting for us to open our eyes and sometimes…to look right.